Thanks...giving.

One of my earliest coherent thoughts this morning (after "Please go back to sleep, baby....it's not even 5 AM yet!" Stupid time change.) was, "I need to write a Thanksgiving blog." I realized that since tomorrow will be devoted to cooking and family, I better do it today!

First, I want to tell you to please read the blog post before this one. I'd really, really like to know if there are any needs out there that you have or know of that I could possibly help with. This spirit of wanting to give has come alive in me and I want to act on it and spread it as much as possible! In that same vein, I really want to do something like this.

What am I thankful for this year?

I am so thankful for my son. He is so much joy to me. There are moments when I want to scream because I'm having to take away the same item from him for the millionth time. Or because he won't stop climbing on the oven door and I'm afraid he'll get hurt (true story). Or because I am so tired I could cry and he won't stop saying "up! up!" to me and my mommy guilt is kicking in. But mostly, and often right after those moments, my heart swells to bursting with love and gratitude. Gratitude that God gave this precious boy to me. He is so amazing. He finds my face in the dark when he's laying in bed with me first thing in the morning (now that he has a "big boy" bed, he comes in and snuggles with us in the morning) and give me kisses. He randomly takes my head in his hands and presses his forehead to mine. Sometimes it's "I love you, Mommy" and sometimes "I'm 'getting' you, Mommy" and either one is wonderful! He holds my hand, he hugs me, he lays on my lap. Mostly he runs around and gets into things but he still needs to check in with me. Because it's a mutual love affair we have going on. My little boy is just love and sweetness and curiosity and joy and spirit all rolled up in one.

I am so thankful for my sweet daughter. She is a special gift. She is beautiful and smart and so compassionate. She loves to help people and especially animals. She wants to do things simply because they're kind to the earth. She loves to snuggle. My heart aches at the thought of her growing up and away from me. I dread the teenage years when she no longer wants to just sit with me. I hope against hope that they will never come and that even through those years, she will be my little girl in her own way. I want SO much for her. I want to put little stickers or shields in the spots in her heart where I got hurt as a young girl...so that she might be spared those hurts. I know that I can't and even if I could, she would only get hurt somewhere else. But oh, this mama's heart longs to protect her! I try to arm her to deal better with the world and with pain instead. But mostly, I want to teach her love and give her love.

I am so thankful for my dear husband. I had no idea what I was in for 7 years ago when I went on a blind date. But I was blessed when I met my Shane. He is kind and generous and funny and talented. He can make me laugh like no one else. He touches me with his desires for the world. He touches me with his willingness to give...even to complete strangers. Seriously, my husband has an incredible heart. I don't always appreciate him like I should but I am so thankful for him.

I am so thankful for my family of origin. I have a mother who can sing like an angel, cook such yummy things (I find comfort there), and give. I just realized some of my giving heart comes from her. I have a (step)father who sees potential in me, who gave me so much for no reason other than his love for my mother and her children, who has lived such an interesting life and from whom I have so much yet to learn. My Pop stepped in and gave me the gift of a father when I had none. For that I am eternally grateful. I have a brother who is a genius (literally) and who is eager and willing to share his knowledge. He has so many layers to him this brother of mine. He is loving and sometimes unsure. He knows so much but forgets sometimes his own worth. He is sincere and genuine...and sometimes that causes him to be vulnerable to pain. I think he is learning to be comfortable with himself and I'm proud of him for that. He and I are similar in that I'm on that journey, too. What a gift to have a big brother!

I had to start a new paragraph for the last member of my family of origin. I am so so thankful for my sister...in the way that you're so much more thankful for what you almost lost. I don't even know how to give you words about her. The need to start a new paragraph mirrors the importance she has always held in my life. She is so fun to laugh with. We love to analyze our own dreams. We discuss the important issues in our lives. We're completely silly together. We love to watch movies together, play video games together, complete puzzles together, shop together...you should pick up on the word "together" by now. I treasure her and I am so thankful for her.

I am so thankful also for my extended family. I have a grandma who is hurting so much right now. But even in that hurt, I see that this beautiful woman is in there. And I see that she raised this incredible family I'm blessed to be part of. I see that anyone who was so loved by a man such as my grandfather can be nothing short of incredible. I see in her the spunk I so admire in book characters...and which I covet. I am so thankful for the nearly 30 years I had my grandfather. I will miss his prayer in a way deeper than I can possibly express tomorrow. I have aunts and uncles and cousins who would knock your socks off. They are incredible people. There has always been a place at the Thanksgiving (or Christmas or Easter or whatever) table for anyone who needs it. We have welcomed friends and strangers over the years. I am so grateful to have this core group of people to tie a tether back to in a world of so much uncertainty. I have in-laws who are so much more than I could have even asked for. They are kind and understanding and open. There is no judgement in their homes. There is always laughter and children running. The sweet faces of my nephews and niece make my heart warm at the thought. I am so grateful for this family my husband has so generously shared with me. And I am so grateful my children can call all these people family.

I have SO much to be grateful for!! I could go on and on and tell you how I really live in the lap of luxury (no, we're not wealthy by American standards but truly, we have SO much). I could tell you how I never have to worry if I'll go hungry or if I can go to school or if I will have a job. I am so spoiled and have so much to be grateful for. But this year, my focus is on the people. How incredibly, undeniably blessed am I to be surrounded with all these people to love? Thank you, God, for this gift of loved ones.

What are you thankful for? I really want to know. What or who makes your heart warm this holiday season?