Shut Up and Do Something

I'm feeling a bit cantankerous this morning. A bit confrontational. It's unusual for me and even more unusual for me to do something as public as write a blog about it, but writing is a good outlet for me. And I've been told I'm not too bad at it.

Here is what has me frustrated lately: whining and complaining. Now, I do my fair share of both, I'll admit. But here is where I like to think we differ: I'm more than willing to do something about it. I'm one semester deep into a degree to get me a job in a field where I can fix or at least try to fix the things that most vex me. What are you doing?

I know friends and family and random acquaintances who tell me the government needs to stop taking care of people. That's what churches are for. My argument is if the churches were really doing something about poverty, hunger, mental illness, and disability; the government wouldn't have to! If you think charity is the way to take care of these problems, get out there and start a charity. I understand you have a full time job and don't have time to run a charity-find someone who can. Go to your pastor and tell them you want to start a charity. Go to your employer and see if they'll donate to start a charity. If you're doing all that, great! Get the word out to others about how they can do it. Or stop complaining that the government is doing it!

I live in Texas so I know many people who loooove their guns. They think the 2nd amendment should be the most important amendment-sometimes over the 1st. They are terrified that Obama is going to take all the guns away. Even though Obama has NEVER said a word about outlawing guns or "taking them away". Why do they need guns so badly? Well, many of my neighbors, friends, and family believe the government is so corrupt that an armed mass will be needed in the near future to rise up and defeat it. This seems like a horrifyingly violent solution to me. And it also seems completely unnecessary. Have you tried our established legal system? Have you written your legislators? Have you signed physical petitions (honestly, the online ones are convenient but don't really get us anywhere)? Have you run for office yourself? Why are guns the first solution...or any solution? You are talking about killing or at least injuring (or at the very least threatening bodily harm) fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, someone's child! I've never considered that an option and I'm appalled at the otherwise law-abiding people suggesting it.

Speaking of guns, recent events have gun control in the national conversation again. I understand some people don't want limits placed on guns. I'm going to come right out and say why is the violence we've experienced better? I think every. single. (sane) person. in the United States (maybe even the world) would agree that events like the Newtown shooting are unacceptable. Little innocent children should be able to attend school without fear of being killed. No parent should have to fear not bringing their child home alive from a public elementary school. But the ways to eliminate this type of action vary. The ones I've heard so far are: some kind of legal gun control, increased and/or reformed mental health solutions, putting God back in schools, and nothing. I'm for the first 2 and the 3rd sounds good in theory. The 4th is unacceptable. Those who suggest we only need to "put God back in our schools" probably have their hearts in the right place. And I would LOVE it if our schools taught more love and acceptance. But the people who say we need to do that-they're not actually doing anything. They are not starting bible studies or lobbying to teach more love and acceptance. And, in addition, we then have to decide which God and which agenda and which doctrine we're putting back in the schools. Meanwhile, another person is going to snap, buy a gun, and kill more people.

I suppose my point in all of these issues is this: If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. Posting Facebook links or griping in your tweets and statuses is not helpful. Arguing against all of the proposed concrete solutions is not helpful. If you're not willing to put your own money, labor, effort, reputation, or whatever else you have to offer into it; get out of the way for those who will.

Courage

I was running jogging jogging/walking with my daughter in the park the other day...Wait, I have to stop first on this sentence. I love that I can honestly type this sentence on so many levels. I grew up not able to fully participate in P.E. because I had such acute asthma. The fact that I can jog at all still astounds me. The fact that my daughter told me to wait while she got her tennis shoes when I announced I was going for a jog thrills me-both that she wants to spend time with me and that she wants to exercise.

Where was I? Oh yes, I was jogging/walking with my daughter in the park the other day. She for some reason told me a story about a bug that was in her room that she smashed. Now, there are a couple things you need to know to fully appreciate this story:

1. I'm a very anti-violent person. To the point that I feel guilty when I kill a bug. I don't like them and I don't want them in my house as they're nasty but I feel guilty killing them. 
2.  My daughter is VERY afraid of bugs. She normally freaks out when she sees one anywhere. She gets as far from it as she can and induces panic in her father or me by her tone of voice. And then we kill it for her. 

So my reaction to her story about killing the bug was this: "I'm really proud of you." I told her she was very brave to kill the bug. She was surprised I was proud because, in her words, "I was still really scared!" I told her that being brave is being scared and doing it anyway.

This story was running through my head today. The above definition of bravery is not my own but I'm not sure who deserves the credit. It's an idea I like, though. I'm scared so often. Not just of bugs or heights or how badly I'll screw up my kids. But also of trying new things and taking chances and the unknown. But how awesome does it feel when you're brave? When you're scared to death but you do it anyway! I read today about a red dress. That link is a blog post on this amazing blog that apparently a lot of people know about but I just discovered last week. The idea is every woman should wear a red dress/ballgown at some point because it is impractical and you want to (you know you do...I totally do). The Bloggess (Jenny Lawson) calls it embarrassment (quote from above linked post: "So today, think about what it is you need and were too embarrassed to ask for.")...I call it fear. Whatever you call it, courage is about not letting it hold you back.

I've been talking to my husband lately about some decisions we are on the verge of making that I want badly to follow through on but they scare the hell out of me. But I'm going to do it anyway. Where do you need to be courageous today? Don't let fear or embarrassment have that power over you...do it anyway!

Brave is being scared and doing it anyway.

Overheard

Things I overheard in the last few days:

(In response to being told about a survey about attitudes about LBGT issues) "I don't judge. God will judge. I don't judge...I have gay friends! Not intimate ones, of course."

(On being unemployed and hungry) "Obama ruined everything. I do NOT like him." (literally, the only thing that prompted this comment was the fact that the speaker is unemployed and hungry)

(From a retired teacher. SMH) "Them's that can, do. Them's that can't, teach."

Response to internet commentor

You paint the world

in black and white,

bad and good.

You brag about

what white has done

and point fingers

at the black.

It is their own fault

they were slaves.

You have all the answers,

and I must be liberal

if I disagree.

Without "them,"

you could not:

Eat your peanut butter,

have heart surgery,

cortisone,

cataract treatment

or blood donation.

Enjoy dry cleaning,

beauty products,

and refrigerated trucks. 

Different is not bad.

"They" have done

more for you

than you know.

But don’t you dare

be poor,

or wear a hoodie,

or be different.

Your ignorance

fills me with despair

for our future.

I tell my son

we love everyone.

He is my hope

that hatred

will not prevail.

 

(original poem by Karen Logan. Please do not redistribute or copy without permission.)

Be Fearless

I got some advice today. I've been collecting it, advice, like little nuggets of chocolate to savor while riding the slow train of getting my degree(s). This latest piece came from a woman who has served in some very interesting positions in government. She is now a teacher and I might even say activist. And she is what some would call a "character." Her advice to me: Be fearless. I believe she was quoting someone or paraphrasing someone but I didn't write it down so I don't feel comfortable quoting her source. But her advice stuck with me.  

Be fearless.

I was in line for lunch a month or so ago with a state representative. I told him that since I had his attention for a moment, I would like to ask for advice. He told me not to "let up". The gist of his advice was to be persistent. And to me, this is related to being fearless.

I don't think I've been fearless lately. I don't think I've been quite fearful but rather somewhere in between. I've been cautious. I haven't been blogging because every time I get an idea of something to blog about, I fear it's too controversial or will pin me down to a position or opinion that I may change later. Or that I might just be wrong and then it will be out there in cyberspace for everyone to see and remember forever!  

The truth is, I have a lot of opinions and not all of them are popular.

But if I wait till I have a safe opinion or a safe topic, I am left with....nothing. Which is exactly why I haven't been blogging. I am (hopefully) on the path to a public life. I haven't decided exactly what I want to be when I grow up but it involves changing the world and that pretty much always becomes public sooner or later. And here's the thing that occurs to me, now as I write this:  

People who change the world are not timid...they are fearless.

Part of my philosophy on how I can change the world starting where I currently live is that I'm going to have to work with "the other side." That means sometimes I'll have to work with people of a different political persuasion or a different religion or just of a different opinion. I have concluded I can do it. There is always some place in common, some common ground, to start from. I have been afraid of alienating the "other side" by putting my opinions and thoughts out there. I realized today, though, that expressing my thoughts and opinions is not the same thing as telling them I won't work with them. How will people know where our common ground is if I don't tell them what my ground is?

I hope to be bringing you more of my thoughts, opinions and insights soon. I may just start with women's rights or another hot button topic. Regardless, I'm going to work on being a whole lot more fearless.