The #notallmen hashtag craze reminded me strongly of a line of thinking I explored years ago. I felt it warranted a partial repost. The original post can be found HERE.
I walk around a local park at lunch most workdays. I'm trying to fit some fitness into a crazy, hectic schedule and this is an opportune time. It's in a well populated area (a church with a daycare directly across the street and a few social service buildings nearby as well) and there are always plenty of people around. I don't actually feel threatened or logically think something will happen to me while walking around this public place. However, there are times when I pass a lone man or a group of people and I feel fear. As a woman, I have felt it many times in my life. I know that even the bravest, most confident woman knows what I'm talking about. There is a vulnerability unique to our gender of which we must remain hyper-aware. It often protects us and is often based on instinct. But I don't think men have the same innate fear.
A week or two ago, I was at home alone with my two children. My toddler was down for his nap and my daughter was watching a video while I cleaned. We are in a house that's new to us but in a wonderful neighborhood. While I was occupied, the doorbell rang. My daughter (eight and a half) ran to the door and came back to me saying, "It's some men I don't know." I answered the door to find 3 young men. They asked if we needed our yard mowed. My husband does our yard work so I politely turned them down, making sure to mention that my husband takes care of that. When I went back to my daughter and told her who they were, she told me they had looked scary to her. I realized that I had felt a moment of fear also and that I had made a point of letting them know I am protected by a man. This event made me sad. It made me sad that my eight year old daughter already knows this fear. It made me sad that even in a nice neighborhood and a safe house, I had feared these males younger than I. It made me sad that I felt I needed to hide behind the protection of a male. I realize my daughter is safer for being aware of not talking to strangers and for recognizing her own instinctual reactions to potential threats. I realize I'm safer for it as well. But it frustrates me a great deal to realize that in this, I am indeed the "weaker sex"! I don't want to raise my daughter in fear but it seems to be a necessity. I work on my own fear daily and try to find the balance between heeding it and maintaining my own confidence.
It is a challenge to be a woman in today's society. But it is a challenge I face with excitement and determination. I will succeed in spite of (or maybe because of) my gender. I will raise an empowered young woman and a young man and woman who do not step on the hand of anyone but are respectful of all regardless of age, gender, race, religion or ability!
