I have seen all the GoFundMe posts on Facebook. One friend just was having a hard time paying bills, another had a friend who needed help paying funeral expenses, still another had a pet who needed medical care. I've rolled my eyes and internally thought that I have to pay my bills why don't they have to pay theirs? Or I haven't had money to contribute. For whatever reason, I've seldom helped, but I have a few times. I feel similarly when I see someone panhandling on the street. But I honestly feel more compassion for the panhandler...until now anyway. I can't imagine being in a situation so dire that I had no option but to stand on a corner and beg strangers for spare change. That has to hurt to be there. I'm there.
Two years ago I got divorced. I've mostly done really well, and I'm no longer emotionally grieving the death of that marriage. However, doing the parenting and bills thing alone is really, really tough. I made decent money at my last job, but it was just barely not enough. I have amazing parents who have helped me more times than I can count. I got a new job about a year and a half ago. A great job, really. It was demanding, though, and at a time that I didn't have enough to give to my child and a demanding job. I lapsed on my antidepressant pills, and before I knew it, I was in quite a spiral. I began to emerge from that spiral in January....but it was too late. Coupled with some other factors, it led to my being unemployed.
My son turned 10 this last October. I had been managing my mortgage pretty well up to that point...and all my other bills. I would slip behind a bit on the mortgage but catch up. I took my son out of town to celebrate his bday and spent waaaaay too much money on him. I knew it was stupid, but I needed to celebrate him in a big way. I figured I could catch up. Only I had gone one month too far-the mortgage company would no longer let me pay a month's worth. I had to pay 2-3 month's worth or not at all. Anyone who has lived paycheck to paycheck knows this is a profound struggle. I didn't have it...so the money got spent elsewhere. I kept thinking I would catch up. And I was still depressed on top of that.
Late December/early January, I decided it was time to drag myself out of this hole. I began trying to take my medicine more regularly. I began taking care of bills I had been neglecting. I was making plans at work to bring more and more A game. And then I found myself with no income. I was crushed.
I have a part time temporary job that I got 2 days after I lost my job. I had one more check from my last job. This weekend marked the first missing paycheck...or lower one, I guess. And my mortgage company finally set some dates that they are taking my house back. I contacted them and asked what I could do. They gave me an amount I have top pay very very soon to get my house out of foreclosure. It is far more than I can scrounge together. It is more than my generous parents can give me or even loan me.
So I stuffed my pride way down low and made a GoFundMe page. It feels like asking strangers (though it's really friends and families) to give me spare change even though they have to work to pay their bills. I have received a few donations. I am so unbelievably grateful for my friends that have donated the little bit they can....it means so much to me and my son. To those offering sympathy, thank you. To those who think their 5 or 10 dollars wouldn't help, it would. To those judging me, I get it.
To answer the title question, I think the answer is yes. It is a bit like panhandling. I screwed up. I'm asking you to help me fix the problem I made. But it's also an opportunity for my family and friends to show me compassion and come together to help me better myself...to learn from my mistake. I know my viewpoint will be so different next time I see someone asking for help through a social funding site.
My GoFundMe Campaign: Save Our Family Home
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