I Adore Being a Girl (Most of the Time)

I find myself being very thoughtful and introspective this morning. Maybe it's just Monday morning. Maybe it's the inspirational blogs I've been reading (Here is one I find a lot of inspiration from). Maybe it's just me! Who knows! But here is the biggest thought I've had that I want to share this morning: I struggle with being a girl.

I love being female most of the time. I definitely wouldn't trade it for the world. I'm a mother and I have a special bond with my kids I wouldn't have if I were their father (that's a different special bond). I enjoy fashion and makeup and hair and gossiping and all the girliness a person can handle! But there is a lot I don't love, too.

There are the obvious physical drawbacks I won't go into. But you just don't know if you're male. But today I'm struggling with the psychological drawbacks-both self imposed and imposed by the outside world.

This morning, I had a phone conversation at work with a broker who was less than accommodating. He couldn't get my name right and then acted like I had no clue what I was talking about when I tried to verify information. I'm sure men have frustrating conversations like this with other men but it takes on a new level of frustration when the man talks down to the woman. In talking about this conversation with the person for whom the message was intended (also a female), we hit on the topic of undesired nicknames like "sweetie".

I despise being called terms of endearment by strangers. But I especially despise it from a male stranger. It drips condescension and disdain. If I do not know you well enough to hug you, you probably shouldn't call me "sweetie." One of the reasons this is particularly galling is because you just don't encounter men calling men they just met "sweetie", "darling", "honey", or any other unsolicited term of endearment. You might as well say to me, "I don't take you seriously because you are female." If you know me at all, you know that's not a good idea.

This uncomfortable feeling I get from being called unsolicited terms of endearment is both self-imposed and pressed on me from others. And would a male just "let it go" if another male called them something they didn't appreciate? Probably not. Do I not confront them because I lack assertiveness as a personality trait or because I was raised to be a "lady"? Do I feel they are condescending because they truly are (often the case) or because I've been condescended to too many times?

I recently had an experience in one of my university classes where the professor is (perhaps subconsciously?) favoring the males in the class. Many students in my classes are in the emergency services field which is often dominated by males. I find that I'm sometimes the only female in a class. This particular class actually has several women but our responses seem to be glossed over in favor of those made by the males. Perhaps this is in our perceptions (it's been confirmed to me by another female in the class). Perhaps it's not intentional. Perhaps the males make more assertive statements. Perhaps we females are too quick to back down. It's frustrating no matter the reason.

I've been thinking for months now about the innate fear females are either born with or are taught from an early age. My daughter already displays it. It is shying away from someone at your own front door because you don't know them (especially if they're male). It is walking more quickly by a strange man in broad daylight with no apparent threat. It is the unwillingness to walk outside alone in the dark any more than necessary. It is born of necessity as the typically smaller and less physically strong sex. But it is also encouraged by our society at every turn.

I have big dreams. I long to make a difference in this world with my career and my life. Many of these dreams would be easier for a male to achieve. Many of them would be scoffed at if I shared them....but not as much for a male. I will encounter challenges in my job, in school, and socially because I am a woman. While I adore being a woman, I would like for one day to know the advantages of being a man!