Thursday, July 11, 2013

Courage

Last night, I took my kids to the park. It was a lovely evening and we headed out about 45 minutes before sundown. As we walked and talked, my kids and I all learned some good lessons...or at least I did. 

I sat down on a bench while my wild 4 year old son ran...just for the sake of running! My 11 year old daughter climbed the rock wall (which she later declared too dangerous as she perched atop it) and told me that she is very scared about going to middle school. I asked her why. She told me about how her elementary school is all she's ever known and how she'll go from being top dog to being the youngest. I remember her fears as my own at that age.

I also recognized her fear as my own at that moment. 

I told her how I'm scared, too. How I will be receiving my Master's degree in less than a year and will have to leave my wonderful job and my wonderful boss and maybe even my wonderful employer (though I wouldn't mind staying in a different capacity). I am very comfortable where I am now, just like my daughter was comfortable with her elementary school. It's scary to graduate to the next level. I know from this side that her middle school will bring her all kinds of new and exciting opportunities and she will love it, too! 

I don't know if my next step will bring me the same, but I sure hope so.

As my daughter and I were talking, my son began hollering from across the playground. We looked up and saw him dangling from the (short) monkey bars. We both ran over to help. I tried to get him to climb up and drop to the ground to show him it was a short fall so not much to fear, but even after falling once, he was scared. He was so scared of falling that he wouldn't even try. 

I told him, just as I told my daughter, sometimes courage means doing something even though you're scared terrified.

I'm at a crossroads, facing down the next step in my life. It may not come for another 10 months, but it's coming. I'm so scared to leave my comfort zone and so scared of failing. But I will look in the mirror and tell myself that sometimes courage means doing it anyway. 

These kids teach me something everyday.

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