Don't Let the Turkeys Get You Down.*

*I would credit that phrase if I knew to whom to credit it (if you know, please let me know).


I have been thinking for a few days that I should post a blog and not lose momentum. Especially leading up to the midterm elections, my passion and fire was up and I was blogging more frequently. I knew, though, that I was feeling a bit letdown, hopeless, disillusioned after the election. So I want to blog to "not let the turkeys get you down."

When I was a child, my dad had this mug:

Everyone thought it was hilarious! And I really hate to admit this still, but I'm still not sure why. Maybe it's just the literal imagery? Maybe it was political (with the elephant) but I'm unsure what the political beliefs were in my childhood home (I suspect they've changed as the family dynamic changed).

But I've thought of this quote, of this idea as I've thought of what to blog. We can't let the turkeys or the Republicans or the naysayers or whoever get us down!

If anyone hasn't caught on yet, I'm a Democrat. I'm proud of that and I honestly believe that the ideas behind the Democratic platform are those most closely aligned with things I believe even more deeply such as treating all people with respect and helping those less fortunate than you. But even if you aren't a Democrat, don't let your turkeys get you down.

What has really changed this week for me personally. Nothing. I still believe the same things, I still want the same things, I just can't rely on the same methods to get them. So maybe a change of strategy is in order, maybe a change of timetable. But I need to remember that the environment is still suffering so my "green" efforts and my vegetarianism are still valid choices. There are also still hungry, poor, unhealthy, discriminated against people out there. And I still want them to have an equal chance in this world.

I do have some personal turkeys, too. I won't go into them here, but they exist. You do too, I'm sure of it. But we can't let them get us down. We can't let our hopes be dashed, our passions be dimmed, our desires be squelched. So I hope that you (and I) can carry in our heads the image of that elephant (lol maybe it should be a donkey for me?) in our heads this week (and this month and even the next few years) and not let our own personal turkeys get us down.

Living the Green Life

I really really try to live a greener life. In my family we say (and we actually borrowed this from my way greener cousin and his family) that we are being kind to the Earth. My husband and I try to teach our kids that we are kind to everyone, including the Earth.

There are a LOT of "green" products out there. Some of them more authentically environmentally friendly than others. But some of them, some of them are like little green luxuries to me! I drool over the websites or over product reviews that other people have done online. I think "maybe someone will give me that for Christmas". Because really I could just rewash my plastic baggies rather than buying pretty cloth baggies. Or I could just live with my yucky old Sigg (the kind WITH BPA...thanks) instead of wanting a new schmancy one. Or continue carrying my Dollar Tree canvas bag for a lunch tote rather than a schmancy lunch kit.

But I WANT these other things. So I'm entering a contest for them. I know, I could just stop being cheap or whatever and buy them. But it's also more fun to win them. You can try too if you want. (Though really, if I encourage you to enter does it make me less likely to win??? We'll pretend I didn't have that selfish thought lol.) And because I have to for an entry, I'll also link you to this website. But really it's a cool website anyway and I'm secretly now cyber-stalking the blog of the woman who started it just today!

Wishing

How much of our lives do we spend wishing? I think for me, a lot more than I'd care to admit!!
We wish we had more money. Or that we were skinnier. Or that someone else would make dinner. Or that someone would read your mind and magically do exactly what you wanted all along. Or that you had a better/different job. The truth is much of this is within our reach without magic-just a little elbow grease (mind grease?) needed! Ok, the exception would be the person magically reading your mind but you could, uh, tell them.

I've been wishing a lot. I was reading a blog by a woman I really really admire today. I used to read her stuff religiously and just yesterday found her again. She is amazing and I want to be her. And I found myself wishing. Wishing I could write like her. Wishing I had a writing career like her (who knew my desire to write would re-rear it's ugly head in the form of blogging??). Wishing I lived in a community where my crunchy ways would be more accepted. Wishing I could mother more like her in a more conscious, present way (for all her grousing-she's an amazing mom, I think!).

But this really isn't just a post about how amazing Catherine Newman is. You can get something out of it even if you're not a fan of hers or even a mother of a preschooler! I realized in all my wishing, that I wasn't DOing! So I logged in here and hopefully you are now benefitting. But it's about more than just pushing a blog on unsuspecting readers because I secretly long to be a writer. It's voting because you wish the political system was different. It's going to school because you wish you could get a better job and make a difference (can I tell you? I feel brave every time I remember I'm in college at 30!). It's about seizing the moment and believing.

Big journeys begin with a single step.
Opportunity knocks on your door every day-answer it.
I taped the Big Journey one on as I was signing up to go back to college.
(Taking this picture made me realize how very much I need to clean my calculator at work!)

Sometimes, I'm AWFUL at this! OK, most of the time, I'm awful at this. But I'm trying. And I try to catch these moments and take just one step toward DOing rather than WISHing. Won't you join me?

I Adore Being a Girl (Most of the Time)

I find myself being very thoughtful and introspective this morning. Maybe it's just Monday morning. Maybe it's the inspirational blogs I've been reading (Here is one I find a lot of inspiration from). Maybe it's just me! Who knows! But here is the biggest thought I've had that I want to share this morning: I struggle with being a girl.

I love being female most of the time. I definitely wouldn't trade it for the world. I'm a mother and I have a special bond with my kids I wouldn't have if I were their father (that's a different special bond). I enjoy fashion and makeup and hair and gossiping and all the girliness a person can handle! But there is a lot I don't love, too.

There are the obvious physical drawbacks I won't go into. But you just don't know if you're male. But today I'm struggling with the psychological drawbacks-both self imposed and imposed by the outside world.

This morning, I had a phone conversation at work with a broker who was less than accommodating. He couldn't get my name right and then acted like I had no clue what I was talking about when I tried to verify information. I'm sure men have frustrating conversations like this with other men but it takes on a new level of frustration when the man talks down to the woman. In talking about this conversation with the person for whom the message was intended (also a female), we hit on the topic of undesired nicknames like "sweetie".

I despise being called terms of endearment by strangers. But I especially despise it from a male stranger. It drips condescension and disdain. If I do not know you well enough to hug you, you probably shouldn't call me "sweetie." One of the reasons this is particularly galling is because you just don't encounter men calling men they just met "sweetie", "darling", "honey", or any other unsolicited term of endearment. You might as well say to me, "I don't take you seriously because you are female." If you know me at all, you know that's not a good idea.

This uncomfortable feeling I get from being called unsolicited terms of endearment is both self-imposed and pressed on me from others. And would a male just "let it go" if another male called them something they didn't appreciate? Probably not. Do I not confront them because I lack assertiveness as a personality trait or because I was raised to be a "lady"? Do I feel they are condescending because they truly are (often the case) or because I've been condescended to too many times?

I recently had an experience in one of my university classes where the professor is (perhaps subconsciously?) favoring the males in the class. Many students in my classes are in the emergency services field which is often dominated by males. I find that I'm sometimes the only female in a class. This particular class actually has several women but our responses seem to be glossed over in favor of those made by the males. Perhaps this is in our perceptions (it's been confirmed to me by another female in the class). Perhaps it's not intentional. Perhaps the males make more assertive statements. Perhaps we females are too quick to back down. It's frustrating no matter the reason.

I've been thinking for months now about the innate fear females are either born with or are taught from an early age. My daughter already displays it. It is shying away from someone at your own front door because you don't know them (especially if they're male). It is walking more quickly by a strange man in broad daylight with no apparent threat. It is the unwillingness to walk outside alone in the dark any more than necessary. It is born of necessity as the typically smaller and less physically strong sex. But it is also encouraged by our society at every turn.

I have big dreams. I long to make a difference in this world with my career and my life. Many of these dreams would be easier for a male to achieve. Many of them would be scoffed at if I shared them....but not as much for a male. I will encounter challenges in my job, in school, and socially because I am a woman. While I adore being a woman, I would like for one day to know the advantages of being a man!

Conscious Living

I stumbled upon some terminology that I really feel like fits my new-found outlook on life. Conscious living. As in, not mindlessly doing what has always been done. I choose to look at the decisions before me and weigh my options and choose which works best for me and my family. I'm not perfect at it but it's what I'm striving for.

Here's some ways I choose to live more consciously:

I'm a vegetarian. Do I really need meat? Can I be healthy or even healthier without it. My answer was yes and I LOVE it...this was a recent decision.

I'm a Democrat. Where I live, this is the D-word. I never cared about politics till my husband made me pay attention. And then I got mad. For me the questions were: Do I feel more strongly about how much money is in the coffers nationally than about the starving family down the street? Do I WANT to take away rights from people just because they see love differently than I? Do I believe that sending troops in with guns blazing is the way to solve problems? Do I believe our world is managing just fine or that she is sick and in dire need of our care and attention? Do I care more about a company's right to make a profit than I do things like making sure you can get help if you're sick? Do I care more about what you call it (socialism) or what I believe it is (loving your neighbor)?

We don't spank and we practice mostly what some people call attachment parenting. Do I want to hit my child? Does it help to hit my child? What am I teaching him if I hit him every time he behaves contrary to my desires? What kind of problem solving skills will this teach him? How did I feel when my parents spanked me? Do I want to treat my child with respect or force? Do I want him to feel loved and respected or fear me? Do I want to listen to him cry while my heart breaks or do what I naturally want to do and pick him up and comfort him? Why do I have to stop breastfeeding at 12 months?

I want to work in public service somehow. Why do I have to sit at a desk and do what will make the most money and save what I REALLY want to do (help people and change "the world") for the weekend?

I live a somewhat non traditional, non status quo life. And I like it that way. I like to look at what I choose to do with this one life and decide if it makes my soul hum or if I'm doing it just because it's the way things are done. I choose to live consciously.

The Acumen Fund, Social Capitalism and other random thoughts

Wow! I just heard a podcast on one of my favorite programs, Speaking of Faith with Krista Tippett (they're changing the name /focus soon, though). It was about a new venture called The Acumen Fund which was founded by Jacqueline Novogratz. I can't begin to explain it in a way that would do it justice so if you're interested, go here:http://speakingoffaith.publicradio.org/programs/2010/different-kind-of-capitalism-2/index.shtml

However, I have to tell you a little bit about it! It is a program that invests in entreprenuers who are in their own ways, making the world a "better place". It's social conscience meets making a profit. I love it! I love that it combines the desire to work and produce something new (the entrepreneurs) with the desire to give back to communities!

It really made me think, too. It made me think about the disparity between the poor and the rich. It made me think about that I *am* the elite Jacqueline references. When is the last time you even thought about the fact that you have clean, running water any time you want it? When was the last time you *really* worried if you would be able to pay for that water!?

It made me think about the people in Haiti who are complaining about the free healthcare they're receiving from NGOs (seems they're going to put the existent healthcare providers out of business). It made me think about the Jamaicans who are struggling to farm but cannot compete with American farmers with their capital and their machinery.

These topics all seem related to me. What is the best way to help these different groups? Is it to fly our best charitable workers to them and do the work for them? Is it to throw money at them? Is it to take over the industries they can't succeed at because we can do it more efficiently? I think none of these approaches are really working. They're what we're trying and we've just been spinning our wheels.

But I like this approach The Acumen Fund is modelling. I like the idea of somehow merging (despite my criticism of co-optation) the private and public sectors. Can we teach people to fish while also giving them some fish? I think so! It makes my head swirl with interesting thoughts. If anyone is reading this, please feel free to add your own thoughts!! (P.S. It also could be I just listen to much public radio! HA!)

I'mmmm Coming Out...so we better get this party started!

HA! I hope Pink doesn't mind the lift of lyrics!
I came out this last weekend. Nope, I'm not gay. I'm happily married to a man. But I AM a Democrat. I live in an area where that is just about the same thing...and not in a good way...and Heaven help you if you're both gay and a Democrat!
My friends and family and people who have taken more than 15-30 minutes to learn anything about me already know my political affiliation. It doesn't take much to figure out. I talk about saving the environment, I have feminist leanings, I believe government can help people (and should!), and well, around here, I'm different.
But Saturday, I came out. I went to my first public event that was outwardly Democratic. It wasn't just a "save the environment" event or an Earth Day festival, it was a Democratic Rally. And I didn't just attend, I volunteered!
It was great...I was hot and dehydrated and worn out and sore by the end of the day but I felt like I was contributing to "the cause". I carried chairs, put up banners, made drinks, put out tables and covered them with tablecloths, "(wo)manned" the bouncy house and talked to people who actually think remotely similarly to me on the issues of the day!
I'm not crazy about our highest level candidate this year, a gubernatorial candidate, BUT I'm even less crazy about the Republican incumbent (and perhaps I'll blog about why one of these days). He really does have my vote just because he's not the other guy. Not that I think he'll get elected. The region I live in hasn't had any electoral votes in ANY election for ANY Democrat in....a really long time!!
I'm excited about taking actions for what I believe in. I'm excited about meeting people who think we can change things for the better the same way I do. I'm excited about taking some baby steps toward some long term goals.
They liked me, too, I think. The area headquarters has asked me to take over as the Secretary. I told them I'm interested but I need to attend a meeting or two and see if I can spare the time first! I'm crazy though because I really want to do it...along with work, school, mommyhood, etc.
So I'm out now....and very glad about it! Now, let's get this "party" started!!