Courage

I was running jogging jogging/walking with my daughter in the park the other day...Wait, I have to stop first on this sentence. I love that I can honestly type this sentence on so many levels. I grew up not able to fully participate in P.E. because I had such acute asthma. The fact that I can jog at all still astounds me. The fact that my daughter told me to wait while she got her tennis shoes when I announced I was going for a jog thrills me-both that she wants to spend time with me and that she wants to exercise.

Where was I? Oh yes, I was jogging/walking with my daughter in the park the other day. She for some reason told me a story about a bug that was in her room that she smashed. Now, there are a couple things you need to know to fully appreciate this story:

1. I'm a very anti-violent person. To the point that I feel guilty when I kill a bug. I don't like them and I don't want them in my house as they're nasty but I feel guilty killing them. 
2.  My daughter is VERY afraid of bugs. She normally freaks out when she sees one anywhere. She gets as far from it as she can and induces panic in her father or me by her tone of voice. And then we kill it for her. 

So my reaction to her story about killing the bug was this: "I'm really proud of you." I told her she was very brave to kill the bug. She was surprised I was proud because, in her words, "I was still really scared!" I told her that being brave is being scared and doing it anyway.

This story was running through my head today. The above definition of bravery is not my own but I'm not sure who deserves the credit. It's an idea I like, though. I'm scared so often. Not just of bugs or heights or how badly I'll screw up my kids. But also of trying new things and taking chances and the unknown. But how awesome does it feel when you're brave? When you're scared to death but you do it anyway! I read today about a red dress. That link is a blog post on this amazing blog that apparently a lot of people know about but I just discovered last week. The idea is every woman should wear a red dress/ballgown at some point because it is impractical and you want to (you know you do...I totally do). The Bloggess (Jenny Lawson) calls it embarrassment (quote from above linked post: "So today, think about what it is you need and were too embarrassed to ask for.")...I call it fear. Whatever you call it, courage is about not letting it hold you back.

I've been talking to my husband lately about some decisions we are on the verge of making that I want badly to follow through on but they scare the hell out of me. But I'm going to do it anyway. Where do you need to be courageous today? Don't let fear or embarrassment have that power over you...do it anyway!

Brave is being scared and doing it anyway.